Kyle Sebastian
Professor H. Salsich
English 02
2 February 2009
Professor H. Salsich
English 02
2 February 2009
The Difference Between a Flying and a Caged Bird:
An essay on my thoughts on Freedom and Imprisonment.
TS: Theres only two choices in life being free or being imprisoned. SD: Imprisonment and freedom are two coinciding forces on our earth. CM: Freedom is a state of being in which you can do what you want when you want to do it without anyone telling you that you can’t. CM: Imprisonment is the exact opposite of freedom, a state of being when you can’t do whatever you want when you want to do it without someone saying you can’t.
TS: Loss of hope, loss of faith, loss of free will, these are the things people think about when the word imprisonment is mentioned to them. SD However, when you have the right motivation to stay positive then your imprisonment can become more of a mere inconvenience. CM: For example if I was ever held captive in a cell and I was only allowed to see one thing each day besides the cells walls I would choose to see a small lake or pond with fish and possibly a waterfall. CM: It would be a tranquil place that I could lose myself in thus forgetting about my imprisonment. CM: A place that I could think about long after having seen it. SD: Ferdinand, Antonio’s son from “The Tempest”, believes Miranda to be his motivation. CM: He says “Might I […] once a day behold this maid: […] space enough have I in such a prison." CM: He basically states that if he could gaze upon Miranda once a day than he would be content and happy within his confinement. CS: When you are properly motivated your impetus can do anything, including gaining your freedom from the darkest cell you could possibly imagine.
TS: Freedom can be compared to so many things be it a flying bird, a flowing stream, even a snowflake freely falling towards the ground. SD: If I had to compare freedom to something it would be to our thoughts. CM: Your thoughts are your own, something that no one can take from you or stop you from having. CM: They are the very essence of freedom, being able to think what you want when you want and having no one tell you its wrong. SD: Prospero compares freedom to the mountain wind. CM: “You’ll be as free as the mountain winds” is what Prospero says to Ariel relating “mountain winds” to her soon to be freedom. CM: “Mountain winds” is a very good example of freedom because the mountain winds blow wherever they want whenever they want and no one can stop them from doing it. CS: Freedom comes in so many different styles, so many opportunities, under so many circumstances because its so complex that nothing can accurately describe it.
TS: There will always be people in our world that will be confined and unhappy so it is our responsibility, the free people, to try and free them as well. SD: Freedom and confinement are two opposite things, but they always live side by side in our world. CM: Freedom is like a bird flying, carefree and happy. CM: Confinement is like a caged bird and it is our duty as free people to open the doors of those cages and set those birds free.
Key
Red-Tri-colon
Bold-Fast Words
2 comments:
Kyle,
Truly great essay, I loved your fast words, they really contributed to the writing and enhanced it overall. You should be sure to be consistent with your title capitalization, this is actually very important, as it is the first thing the reader sees. Additionally, you may want to reword this sentence, "Freedom can be compared to many things, but nothing could possibly show the significance of it." I found it a little awkward, but otherwise, great job my afro-clad friend!
Kyle,
"TS: Your either free or you’re not right?" sounds a bit well not awkward but strange or not fitting in as well since it ends with kind of a casual question of a serious topic. 'He says “Might I […] once a day behold this maid: […] space enough have I in such a prison.' you need a quoteation mark at the end of this. I liked the part at the end of your second body how you were able to0 end with something hat not only includes one of the special tools but also closes it smoothly.
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