Kyle Sebastian
Professor H. Salsich
English 02
17 November 2008
Through One Set of Eyes;
An essay on my views on Heterosexuals and Homosexuals.
TS: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” (Dr. Seuss) SD: I am very open towards homosexuals, I feel very comfortable around them. CM: I felt that Ms. Olsen’s talk was very educational and the environment was comfortable enough to be able to ask questions without being embarrassed. CM: The difference between “gay” and “straight” is almost as significant as the difference between people who like chocolate ice cream and the people who like vanilla ice cream, they simply have different preferences.
TS: Homosexual people do not bother me in the slightest. SD: There really is no important difference between “gay and “straight” except that “gay” is often used in a condescending manner. CM: “Gay” is often used in a negative term like, “that’s gay”, but “straight” is often used in a positive or neutral manner like if someone asked you for a drink you might say “no I’m straight.” CM: Homosexual people eat, sleep, and feel all the things that heterosexual or bisexual people do and they should be treated as equals, not pariahs. SD: I long for a world where people of all sexuality and color and beliefs can band together and lead our race into a new age, without prejudices or racism. CM: I was raised to be very open and accept people for how they are as a person, not how I feel about what they like. CM: Life is too short to worry about if one’s sexuality is right or not, everyone has their own lifestyle to live. CS: Everyone has been given the same deck of cards to live with and all we have to do is play the game so that everybody wins.
TS: I loved the talk we had with Ms. Olsen, usually I’m tired during a talk session, my eyes fluttering up and down, my head slowly slipping off of my hand, but Ms. Olsen’s energy and excitement seemed to pulse through the room into me. SD: The aura that Ms. Olsen seemed to exude was very comforting and the whole room seemed to relax in her presence. CM: Sitting in my chair clinging on to every word she said, I felt at ease and perfectly comfortable asking questions when I thought of them. CM: Ms. Olsen was very humorous and seemed to make the subject more discussable for all of us as a whole. SD: Some of the things that she has other people say made me very angry, I have a few family members that are homosexual that are very close to me and when I hear what some people say to them it boils my blood because these are people I have grown up with and love. CM: When I asked her what her family did she responded “They asked not to speak to me, I haven’t talked to them in over fifteen years” this appalled me because someone’s family should be the strongest source of love and support in this world and Ms. Olsen’s abandoned her. CM: I was also upset at the things she said that other kids have said to her and other kids at the Safe Zone institute, I usually have the policy “Walk in everyone’s shoes before you judge”, but I have a hard time even wanting to put the other shoe on in this matter. CS: We try too hard nowadays to fit in, so much that we often don’t see or don’t care who we hurt in the process, this is the sad, but true fact that we all need to work to change.
TS: “Homosexuality is a sickness, just as [is] […]wanting to become head of general motors.” (Elridge Cleaver) SD: In my opinion there is nothing wrong with homosexuals. CM: There’s a small difference between them and heterosexuals. CM: They have been on this planet just as long as anyone else had and they certainly have the right to do anything anyone else can. CM: For people who do support homosexuals words are meaningless, we need to take action to show our love and support for our fellow brethren and sisters.
Key
Purple=absolute
Blue=participle
Self Assessment
Writing issues I am continuing to work on-Improving my punctuation.
Some strong points I see in this piece of writing-I think that i had some very good quotes that hopefully improved the writing.
Some weak points I see-I feel like I'm always missing a vital piece of information, but I can never seem to find it.
The grade I would give myself- B-
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3 comments:
Kyle,
Nice essay! I really liked your first quote by Dr. Seuss, it was very appropriate and fitting. One thing I think you should change would be the title, I think you should include the talk with Ms. Olsen as well. Also, I think that when you say,"I felt at ease and perfectly comfortable asking questions when I thought of them" you should omit "when I thought of them, because it really is unnecessary and sounds bad. Otherwise, great essay!
KYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I liked your essay and i liked your quote at the beginning by Dr. Seuss amd it was a great way to start off your paragraph. i also saw that you said, "I am very open towards homosexuals and I feel very comfortable around them." sounds a bit basic and i think if you added a bit more detail of your feelings i think that would help. I also think that when you say, "Without all the complicated terminology, when it comes down to it homosexual people do not bother me in the slightest." sounds a bit awkward and could be "spiced up" to make it sound interesting. But otherwise nice essay! :)
HI KYLE --
I am very open towards homosexuals, I feel very ... HERE YOU NEED A SEMICOLON OR PERIOD OR CONJUNCTION INSTEAD OF A COMMA. THESE ARE TWO INDEPENDENT CLAUSES AND CAN'T BE SEPARATED BY A COMMA -- AND THE SAME IS TRUE OF THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE: who like vanilla ice cream, they simply have different preferences. LET'S WORK ON THOSE RULES FOR SENTENCE PUNCTUATION.
SD: There really is no important difference between “gay and “straight” except that “gay” is often used in a condescending manner. ...SINCE THIS IS THE SD, THE CMs IN THE CHUNK SHOULD DIRECTLY COMMENT ON IT, BUT THEY REALLY DON'T. TRY TO MAKE EACH CHUNK FIT NICELY UNDER THE SD's UMBRELLA.
sexuality is right or not, everyone has their own l...ANOTHER PUNCTUATION PROBLEM...CAN YOU PICK IT OUT??
I loved the talk we had with Ms. Olsen, usually I’m tired ...AND THE SAME PROBLEM IS IN THIS SENTENCE. WE MUST WORK ON THOSE RULES, KYLE. THEY'RE AS IMPORTANT AS RULES IN A SOCCER GAME.
I have a few family members that are homosexual that are very close to me and when I hear what some people say to them it boils my blood because these are people I have grown up with and love....THIS IS A SPLENDID SENTENCE!!
kids at the Safe Zone institute, I usually have ... OOPS. THE SAME PUNCTUATION PROBLEM!
KYLE, THERE IS POWER AND GRACE IN THIS WRITING. I TOTALLY ENJOYED READING YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS VERY IMPORTANT TOPIC. LET'S FOCUS NOW ON GETTING THESE PUNCTUATION RULES DOWN COLD!
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