Kyle's Final Essay

Kyle Sebastian
Professor H. Salsich
English 9
5-27-09

The Power of Influence:
An Essay on Influence and its impact

Influence is a very powerful thing; it is used by some of the most important people in the world, but the most important thing about it is that anyone can use it. The influence of Martin King Jr. caused thousands of people to fight for their sovereignity (FAST). He started with nothing, but a dream and turned it into a reality. The influence of even the smallest things can lead to some of the greatest moments in history. Pine Point’s influence will live on with me throughout my life so that I too may make a difference in history.

TS: In the poem “Tintern Abbey” by William Wordsworth a main theme I see is in fact Influence. SD: The abbey influenced Wordsworth’s life very deeply when he visited it. CM: He often rushed to his memories of the abbey when he felt overwhelmed with the chaos of the world. CM: The line “these beauteous forms [. . .] in lonely rooms, and ‘mid the din / [. . .] of towns and cities [. . .] I have owed” explains how he used his memories of the abbey as a relief. SD: The influence of the abbey had stayed with Wordsworth ever since he left it. CM: In the line “thou art with me here upon the banks / [. . .] of this fair river” Wordsworth is saying that on the “banks” of the “fair river” called life Tintern Abbey is with him, he has never forgotten it. CM: It had become one of the most influential places he had ever been to. SD: The abbey had captivated him in a strange way. CM: It did not give him an inspiring speech or do things in a courageous way. CM: Instead the abbey entranced him with its sheer beauty and seclusion from the world. CS: Influence is a theme we see in countless books, movies, plays, and historic moments, yet somehow it never produces a dull story.

TS: Pine Point has influenced my morals and values and has left an everlasting impression on me. SD: Pine Point has taught me things that I will use for the rest of my life. CM: Not only has it taught me how to say the magic words, but I’ve also learned how to interact with people, how to treat people like they want to be treated, how to truly be a part of a community that gives back (Parallelism). CM: Pine Point has taught me things that I need so that I can achieve my goals and enjoy my life. SD: Pine Point has also supported me throughout some of my toughest times yet. CM: The parents and students of Pine Point have given me their hospitality and kindness and showed me that “on the banks of this delightful stream / [. . .] we [stand] together.” CM: The friends I have made at Pine Point have especially supported me during my fifteen years of living by using what Pine Point has taught them to be good friends. SD: If I came back to visit Pine Point after five years it would be like coming back to one of the few safe havens in the world. CM: In five years I would have experienced many disappointing things that life has to offer and coming back to Pine Point would simply make me forget all about them. CM: I would instantly call back memories of friends laughing in the halls, teachers lecturing me about juvenile things, and even homework that I had to do. CS: Going back to such an influential place in my life could only hold the purest form of amazement for me.

TS: In the poem "The Writer" by Richard Wilbur influence is also a theme. SD: A bird is used as a metaphor to show the connection between a girl and why her father is wishing her good luck. CM: The bird is described as "clearing the sill of the world", which refers to the girl clearing her own "sill" out into the world. CM: In a way the bird influences the reader's mind so that they can make the connection to what the father means when he says "I wish her a lucky passage". SD: The bird is an essential piece in this poem's puzzle even though it seems like an insignificant add on. CM: Without the bird there would be no connection between the girl leaving and her father wishing her a "lucky passage." CM: With the bird the reader can more easily make the connection between the girl leaving her father and the father wishing her good luck on her way. CS: Some of the smallest things can carry a meaning bigger than themselves.

Influence has been used by some of the most diabolical minds in history including Benito Mussolini, Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler, and Osama Bin Laden (Tetracolon). However, it has also been used by some of the most influential like Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, and even Barack Obama. No matter how it’s used the power of influence is unarguably very strong. The power to use influence after all, is the power to control minds.

Self Assessment
1.) Issues that I've always had and are continuing to have is using correct punctuation whether its a simple comma error or forgetting the rules of independent clauses.
2.) I like that my essay seems to relate to the overall topic of influence through the entire thing.
3.) One of the weaknesses I see is that I didn't really pick challenging exam meterial to use in mmy essay.