Ty LeVarge
Mr.Salsich
English 02
November 12, 2008
The Amazement of an Essay
A Brief Essay on my Reactions to
“The Way to Rainy Mountain”
If I was to describe my reaction in a short simple phrase, I would say, “It was amazing” because it made my mind take in all of the parts that made me think and imagine what the author was describing. The author had put in many pieces of imagery that painted an image of the scene in my head. The author had also included descriptions of what kind of person his grandmother was like and important things she told him. The author likes to use stories of his family as well as imagery which are a great combination when used together.
TS I had a mix of reasons for my amazed reaction to this essay’s powerful words. SD One good reason that I enjoyed this essay was because the author made reference to his grandmother a little throughout the story. CM He told of little bits of her life and how she spent time with the author. CM He also shared her story of the creation of the big dipper, the story of the seven sisters that climbed a tree and became stars and formed the big dipper. SD I also liked seeing imagery within the structure of this essay. CM A prime example of imagery would be on page 315, “The great billowing clouds that sail upon it are shadows that move upon the grain like water, dividing light”. CM Imagery like this should be used sparingly so that it keeps the reader interested. SD I was also able to find a few lines that related to our theme; the journey. CM on page 314, “It was a journey toward the dawn, and it led to a golden age” and showed that their migration to the east was a journey that was worth the trip. CM Also on page 314, “[…] and traveled fifteen hundred miles to begin my pilgrimage” shows another journey worth the jaunt. CS The author seems to have really put a lot of thought into organization as well as connections with his grandmother.
The author seems to have put hours of work into this essay to make it to be the best it can be. He especially put a lot of effort into how his tribe behaved and also to their history to make the essay have some interesting facts. The author also included some facts of the tribe’s traditions and customs to help keep the momentum of the story. Overall, the essay was well written and carefully thought out to make it very powerful.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Ty --
Excellent title!
"...his grandmother was like..." You could delete "like". Always look for opportunities to tighten your writing by deleting unnecessary words
You probably could delete "when used together". Take a look. Also in "...grandmother a little", I think "a little" is not necessary and could be deleted.
The first CM in the second chunk is a little awkward.
YOU USED QUOTES EXCELLENTLY!!
Ty, do you notice that the final paragraph does not go back to the beginning and tie the essay together? It would have been good to mention "imagery" or "description" at the end, just to remind the reader of where you started.
OVERALL -- A FINE PIECE OF WRITING.
Post a Comment